nothing is sacred anymore

by ellis

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1.
dopamine 03:28
said i felt uneasy turned your back towards me to fall asleep to the sound of a fan and the glow of a screen i’ve been lucid dreaming it’s a trippy feeling awake and asleep at the same time it seems but it’s still just a dream dopamine reality in my mind a fog machine chemicals fluorescent bulbs burnin bright til the sun comes up staring at the ceiling really gets me reeling a million ways to day count the dots behind my eyes to stay alive dopamine reality in my mind a fog machine chemicals fluorescent bulbs burning bright til the sun comes up
2.
hospital 02:35
well it’s been a while since the last time i saw you and it’s been a while since i have even thought of you feels so far away now but you know it’s true that i can’t erase it even if i wanted to oh on my hands and knees spitting my teeth and blood on the street and in the hospital you didn’t come for me you wouldn’t come for me and so i had to leave in the basement bleeding out of my hand i called him he said “comin’ fast as i can” and in the hospital his whole face turned green but he stayed brave just for me he stayed brave just for me
3.
runnin’ a race without a finish line and i’m losing again like every other time behind my best intentions, a shadow of doubt you’re sharp and you know it and i’m bleeding out and one thing i know for sure is that nothing is sacred anymore you’re leaving again like you always do but don’t tell me you miss me cuz you didn’t have to and all that i know for sure is that nothing is sacred anymore what if love isn’t enough isn’t enough what if love isn’t enough is it enough? runnin’ a race without a finish line and i’m losing again like every other time
4.
we walked in circles ‘round the cemetery playing truth or dare and you asked me if i think it’s scary “must get pretty dark down there” is it the heat or is it loneliness the fear that makes your stomach turn? well it can’t be any worse than this all that fire does is burn all that fire does if burn so tell me what it’s gonna take for you to believe it? it’s only gonna hurt a little, you will barely feel it in the morning we’ll be fine i’ve seen hell and i’m not afraid to die it was the coldest day in january we breathed ghosts into the air we watched them dance as we got buried and then we watched them disappear and they watched us disappear so tell me what it’s gonna take for you to believe it? it’s only gonna hurt a little, you will barely feel it in the morning we’ll be fine i’ve seen hell and i’m not afraid to die in a room without a window pointer finger to my temple made a deal with the devil when i’ve had enough it’s all ashes to ashes it’s all dust to dust so tell me what it’s gonna take for you to believe it? it’s only gonna hurt a little, you will barely feel it in the morning we’ll be fine i’ve seen hell and i’m not afraid to die

credits

released June 25, 2021

all songs by linnea siggelkow

vocals by linnea siggelkow
additional vocals by katie munshaw, beth munshaw, charles spencer, charlotte wypkema, and brandon williams
guitars by linnea siggelkow, jonathan rogers, and charles spencer
synth and piano by linnea siggelkow and charles spencer
bass by charles spencer
drums by charles spencer
produced by charles spencer and linnea siggelkow
engineered by charles spencer, simon larochette, and linnea siggelkow
mixed and mastered by charles spencer

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Ellis Hamilton, Ontario

sad but nice.

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