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the fuzz

by Ellis

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1.
the drain 05:09
i'm having dreams again where i'm being sucked into the drain i'm up and then i'm down don't think i've ever felt so strange and you've been losing sleep and its because of me give me your weight and i will carry it but stay on land you know that i can't swim i see you reaching for the deep end and i'm afraid to go in over my head well i'm trying my best don't think i'll ever get it right i'm getting tired of this but i won't go down without a fight if my feet can't reach the ground then i am sure to drown give me your weight and i will carry it but stay on land you know that i can't swim i see you reaching for the deep end and i'm afraid to go in over my head but when it came the time to jump in i held my breath and counted to ten suddenly unafraid i let my body fall into the depths when my feet can't reach the ground i'll be brave and you'll be proud
2.
frostbite 05:42
blame it on being young and dumb wanting so badly just to love someone poured it out and you drank it all you grew big and i grew small you're eating well with a silver spoon and you'll bite the hand that has been feeding you use me up and suck me dry mine is yours, yours is not mine now i wish that i never knew you, i never knew you i wish that i never knew you, i never knew you i wish that i never knew you, i never knew you now i wish that i never knew you, i never knew you a sunk cost that i'm too scared to leave behind gave you everything i've got and then i lost my mind begging you, "please don't go" running barefoot in the snow now i wish that i never knew you, i never knew you i wish that i never knew you, i never knew you i with that i never met you 'cause i'd never want to i wish that i never knew you, i never knew you, i never knew you how'd i end up begging you not to go? how'd i end up barefoot in the fucking snow?
3.
what a mess 03:33
spending too much time alone again conversations that i have in my head took the scissors to my hair again another form of self-destruction what a mess i made of it what a mess i made of it what a mess i made of it what a mess i've made i've been lying to myself again keeping secrets in my heart from my head and when you call me out i will take you down what a mess i made of this what a mess i made of this what a mess i made of this what a mess i've made
4.
on empty pages i'm writing the words but don't know what they mean and it's contagious new normals passed to me just like a disease do i scare you? when you look my way, what is it you see? uncover my truth to find that you were only ever looking for me and all this time i thought that you were trying to change me you were trying to strip away the parts you knew were never me at all
5.
the fuzz 06:33
the sky was big and it was dark a picnic table in the yard i still remember how it felt when the sky came crashing down vision blurry, short of breath a dizzy head, a sort of death need to leave, need to get away alone i climbed the fire escape lay myself down on the steel just to see if i could feel it's too little, it's too late everything started to fade in the fuzz in the fuzz in the fuzz in the fuzz the sky was big and it was dark a picnic table in the park we talked late into the night and for a moment i felt alright but i couldn't sort my thoughts you could see that i was lost in the fuzz in the fuzz in the fuzz in the fuzz
6.
n y e 02:40
kensington market it was new years eve i was thinking of you were you thinking of me? a few blocks away you were just down the street i was thinking of you were you thinking of me? and then after midnight in the windowless dark i was falling asleep you were breaking my heart

about

As The Fuzz plays out, you sense Siggelkow becoming more resolute. Like a doom-metal Mazzy Star, she leans into the distortion pedal as she lays into an ex on “All This Time.” And her paralyzing ennui finally boils into something resembling rage during the title track; for its stormy finale, she cries out the chorus as if self-administering an emergency adrenaline shot. Still, even if you shake yourself out of the fuzz, the symptoms can creep back. On the EP’s stark closer, “N Y E,” Siggelkow finds herself spending the rowdiest night of the year at a party of one, her ghostly voice enveloped by a guitar whose distortion seems to pick at the scabs. She signs off with a missive heavier than the Times Square apple: “After midnight/In the windowless dark/I was falling asleep/You were breaking my heart.” She drifts off, safe in the knowledge that she’s survived another shitty year just to start the next one. - Stuart Berman of Pitchfork 7.4/10

credits

released November 9, 2018

all songs by linnea siggelkow
produced by aaron hutchinson, linnea siggelkow, and sean richman
all songs except n y e recorded and engineered by aaron hutchinson at fort rose, hamilton, on
n y e recorded by linnea siggelkow and sean richman
guitar and vocals by linnea siggelkow
synth by sean richman and linnea siggelkow
bass by colm hinds
drums by matt sandrin
mastered by simon larochette at the sugar shack, london, on
art by sean richman and linnea siggelkow
photo by ariel bader-shamai

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Ellis Hamilton, Ontario

sad but nice.

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